Thursday, September 9, 2010

Butchery

So I just finished watching Hercules. The Disney one which is far less accurate than the non animated one (although that has inaccuracies too). I find it hard to believe that in the course of 93 minutes Disney was able to butcher almost every Greek myth.
1) Narcissus was never a god or demigod. He was turned to a flower after he wasted away besotted with his reflection.
2)Pain and Panic Hades's two servants were far more likely to be working for Ares.
3)Every god does grow in years, but they choose how they look because they're immortal and not human. So I doubt Zeus would look old or Hera look young, at least unless they wanted to.
4)Hercules was never a god. He was the son of Zeus and a mortal woman so he was a demigod. Therefore a hero doesn't become a god like Perseus, Achilles, Theseus, etc. They were all heroes and never became gods. Zeus gave Hercules godlike status when he would die eventually.
5)Hercules was Roman and Hercales was Greek, despite the fact that they were the same in all but name.
6)Hades nor any god is evil. Hades is lord of the underworld and you can't make deals with him. Orpehus proved that. Although he was a bimbo so that's not the best example but he came the closest to making a deal with him.
7)The Titans were the fathers of the gods and goddesses (maybe not Aphrodite) so they looked more like the gods. Yes, Zeus did beat them and trap them but there were 12 first ones and children who didn't become gods (mythology is unclear on how god comes from titan and titan does too).
8)Hera hated Hercules. All the trials he actually had to do was orchestrated by Hera. She hated him like she hated all of Zeus's children that wern't from her.
9)The Cyclopes worked for the gods against the titans. Zeus's thunderbolts, Hades's cap of darkness, and Poseidon's trident was formed by them. Now the Cyclopes (there were three) work for Hephaestus in his forges (volcanoes).
10)Most of the monsters Hercules destroyed were actually destroyed by other heroes. He did actually destroy the Hydra, first monster he fought, although not the way the movie showed it.
11)Phil was never a trainer of heroes, Chrion was and he was a centaur.
12)Charon should have been rowing the boat not a skeleton and Hades wouldn't need a boat to get to the underworld he's a god.
13)The river Styx is a river of human wishes not a river of dead people. They live in the underworld and can't do shit to Hades nor do all of them hate him. Some do but they were punished by all the gods not Hades alone.
14) The Fates aren't affiliated with Hades, I mean they weave the fabric of life and cut peoples life string but they don't work for Hades. Their only similarity with Hades is the death aspect.
15)The Grey Sisters have one eye (and one tooth) and they can see the past future and present, they're the fortune tellers. They don't work for anyone either.
16)This is common and very hard to find, Achilles's weak point was not his heel. The tendon that runs down the back of your foot is called the Achilles tendon and that was his weak point. He died because a poisoned barbed arrow hit that spot on his body, no other reason.
17)Although Chrion was the trainer of heroes, most heroes were not trained by him most learned tips from their father (usually a god).
18)No hero was hung up as a constellation. Orion was the only "hero" that became a constellation and he was a giant son of Poseidon and a friend of Artemis.
19)More to come
Just remember read the myths if you want to know the truth, that's the real story of Hercules, who never existed.

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